Forever Our Boys: A Beaumont Novella by Heidi McLaughlin

Author:Heidi McLaughlin [McLaughlin, Heidi]
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2017-10-04T18:30:00+00:00

8

Josie

It feels good to not have to worry about what people think of me or us as we continue to stick our tongues out at each other. Mine is red, Katelyn’s is purple and Jenna’s is blue. We giggle and join arms to walk along the path as a trio, a solid unit of friendship.

That’s what we’ve been since Jenna arrived in Beaumont. She fit in right away, as if she had been a part of Katelyn and my life growing up. Jenna got our jokes, understood my plight with Liam, and was there when Mason died. She helped pick up the pieces and mold us all back together.

We reach our cabana, high on sugar and completely giddy. There are some guys swimming, and we ogle them. They did it to us yesterday, making us feel desired. Liam does that for me every day, sometimes multiple times, but there’s some inner satisfaction knowing I can still turn the head of a nice-looking man.

From our cabana, we can see the sunset. Aside from the different coloring of the sky, one would never know it’s night. The temperature hasn’t changed. It feels as nice as it did when we walked out here this morning.

In the pool, I hear the name Noah yelled. I quickly scan the area, looking for my son even though I know there isn’t any conceivable way that he would be here. It’s football season and the Portland Pioneers mean more to him than anything. Well, almost anything. I hate thinking that Dessie could mean more, but that’s where my mind is going.

I spot the couple, laughing and splashing each other. They seem happy and in love. But they’re young. I remember when I was ridiculously in love with Liam, back in high school. That love was different from what we share now. It was all consuming. He’s all I thought about from the time I woke until the time my brain rested. All day. Every day. I couldn’t get enough of him, and in hindsight, that’s why the breakup was so bad and one sided.

I was blinded by how I felt and couldn’t see what was in front of me. The love of my life was struggling, and not just at home. He had made a heartfelt decision to attend a school that Mason had been accepted. It was a school that didn’t need him and wouldn’t for a few years, but they recruited him nonetheless. Liam was following his best friend, and that backfired.

And I pushed him to go back. If I could do it all over again, if I could open that door and hold him, and not encourage him to call the coach, I wonder how my life would’ve been different.

Would Liam have taken me with him to California? He says he would’ve, but I don’t know. And what about Noah? If I could have told Liam I was pregnant that night, would he have stayed and raised our child, or would he have followed

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